There's No Logical Explanation
by romanticidiot
Summary: For This Discomboomeration . Merlin/Arthur, one shot. Merlin is just trying to do something nice for Arthur.


**Disclaimer:** Do not own. Do want.

**There's No Logical Explanation For This Discomboomeration**

By

RomanticIdiot

'Merlin,' Arthur said, squeezing the bridge of his nose. 'What are you doing?'

Merlin spun around in surprise, and naturally toppled from his perch atop a high chair, his arms flailing as he fell.

'Merlin!' Arthur exclaimed, even as he lunged forward and caught him under the arms before he hit the ground.

'Sorry,' Merlin said sheepishly, b lushing.

'What the hell were you doing up there?' Arthur replied, glancing over him for injuries.

'Oh nothing,' he replied guiltily. 'Just um – cleaning the curtain rods. You know how I love me some clean curtain rods.'

Arthur raised an eyebrow.

'Is that so, Merlin? Well how about you love you some clean armour? Or some clean sheets? Even some clean boots would be a start.'

'Oh, I will,' Merlin said. 'After I finish with the curtain rods.'

'_Now,_ Merlin,' Arthur said with a sigh.

'Right, I'll um –'

'_Get right on it, sire,'_ Arthur hinted.

'I will, I will,' Merlin nodded. Arthur waited.

'Well?'

'You're – um – you're still holding onto me,' Merlin said hesitantly. 'And I mean – I don't _mind_ or anything, it's just that I have, you know, stuff to do.' He paused. 'You could come with me if you wanted to, I suppose, but I don't think you'd like it. I just sit around and polish stuff. Not that I do a bad job or anything, it's just, it's not quite the same as training knights and striding around being manly and such. You –'

'Merlin,' Arthur said quietly and released him. 'You can go now.'

'Oh,' Merlin said, blushing a little more. 'Well – thanks. I'll er see you later.'

'Yes, Merlin,' Arthur said wearily and sank down in a chair. 'I imagine you will.'

'Er – bye,' Merlin said and darted out the door. Arthur sighed and shook his head. A glimmer of something sparkly near the window caught his eye as he did so and he rose to examine it, but the window appeared as normal. He frowned and sighed again. The boy was driving him mad.

*

'Merlin.'

'Yes, Arthur?'

'My room smells like pine and mint.'

'Does it?'

'Yes,'

'Very good, sire,'

'Do you have any idea _why_ it smells like pine and mint, _Mer_lin?

'No, sire.'

'You don't.'

'I don't, sire.'

'Could it have something to do with the little bits of foliage I see poking out of odd corners?'

'It could conceivably do so, sire.'

'Are you going to fix it?'

'Why, sire? Doesn't it smell nice?'

'Whether it smells nice is irrelevant. It shouldn't be in my chambers.'

'I see, sire. I will remove it immediately.'

'See that you do.'

*

In hindsight, it may not have been such a good idea to enchant a sprig of mistletoe to float over Arthur's head for the half an hour Uther was out of the castle. It had seemed so at the time, naturally, when he'd thought of the discomforted look on Arthur's face when all the females in the castle threw themselves at him, but the reality was a little different. The first few times it was hilarious. Arthur had no idea what was happening, when random servants he had never taken notice of before were crowding into his personal space and pressing their lips to his. Their blush at their actions was nothing compared to Arthur's, which made Merlin giggle.

It all changed when Arthur realised what was happening, and word had gotten around that Arthur was open for the kisses many of the maidens had been dreaming of for years. Some came for seconds. The problem was more the change in Arthur's reactions, though, which Merlin hadn't counted on. He'd thought of Arthur's chivalry rather than the fact he was a red blooded male. After the initial shock of having women throw themselves at him, he'd begun to respond appropriately. Merlin, watching from around the corner, thought the kisses were lasting a lot longer than they needed to.

The glee of seeing Arthur uncomfortable quickly wore off and he felt as though his prank had backfired badly. There was a burn in his throat and his chest that grew as he watched Arthur and the girls have their fun. He felt flat, tired, and inexplicably sad. With a wave of his hand, he dismissed the incantation on the mistletoe and it fell onto Arthur's shoulders. Arthur, deep in the embrace with a kitchen hand, didn't notice until Merlin frowned and persuaded it to fall down the back of the prince's tunic. Arthur immediately broke away from the girl, who looked both flushed and disappointed, and bellowed for Merlin to help him get it out. Merlin waited for a moment, vindictively enjoying the sight of Arthur trying this way and that to free himself from the prickly plant, before he respectfully strode over and lifted Arthur's shirt, letting the mistletoe fall out. Arthur glared balefully at it and then at Merlin, who was watching him with a slight smirk.

'Don't you have anything better to do?' He snarled and Merlin's face dropped.

'Yes, Arthur,' he said quietly and walked away.

*

Arthur came back from the feast earlier than Merlin expected and therefore caught him in the midst of putting the finishing touches on the prince's chambers.

'Merlin!' Arthur bellowed as he strode into the room, 'Where are my slippers? I will be displeased if you've lost them again, and bring a goblet of –' and stopped short as he took in the changes to his rooms. The windows glittered with ice crystals crusted over the panes, while the curtain rods were entwined with gold and the sills were hung with holly. A warm fire roared in the grate and Merlin had lit every candle in the sconces and many more besides and the room seemed to glow and shimmer. A beautiful fir try bristled lushly in one corner and a decadent array of Arthur's favourite foods lay spread out across the table, candlelit and inviting. Merlin himself turned sharply around when he heard Arthur enter and looked away with a blush as he saw the look on the prince's face.

'Merlin,' Arthur said in a hushed voice. 'What is all this?'

Merlin fidgeted and wouldn't meet his eyes.

'I uh wanted to do something nice for you? For Yuletide? Because I know things have been – I mean, you haven't said anything about – and anyway, there's nothing else I could really do for you. You already have everything you need and well ... yeah.'

'I see,' Arthur replied, still taking things in, his eyes darting.

'You don't like it,' Merlin said, watching his face. 'I'm sorry, Arthur. I'll just –' he lifted his arm to wave it away but Arthur reached forward and grabbed him before he could.

'Shut up, Merlin,' he murmured. 'I'm just surprised. And what do you have behind your back?'

Merlin flushed and tried to squirm away.

'Nothing,' he stammered. Arthur's piercing eyes watched him carefully.

'I don't believe you, Merlin. What is it?'

'Nothing, really, Arthur. You should eat. I brought baked apples. You love those,' Merlin babbled, backing away around the table.

'Nonsense, Merlin. Tell me what's behind your back. I'll find out anyway, you know that. It's not flowers for Morgana again, is it? Because you're in the wrong place.' Arthur sighed.

'No, Arthur. It's really nothing. Just – just some salve, see?' he replied, producing it quickly and then withdrawing it.

'It says, "To Arthur",' Arthur said. 'Is that a gift for me, _Mer_lin?'

'No?' Merlin said with a sigh and unwillingly handed it over when Arthur looked as though he would pursue it. 'All right, fine, yes, it's a salve for your muscles, that's all. I didn't know what else to do. I-I made it myself.'

'Did you?' Arthur asked in surprise. 'Is it safe?'

'Of course it's bloody safe!' Merlin returned, colouring in anger.

'All right, all right,' Arthur smiled.

'I – I improved it,' Merlin added quietly. 'It should work better now.'

Arthur paused in his contemplation of the little jar.

'Improved it how?' he asked suspiciously and then stiffened as he realised. 'Did you use magic on this?'

'Well, I –'

'No, Merlin, no,' Arthur said roughly, his eyes flashing. 'You can't _do_ things like that. You can't put yourself at risk for my sore muscles.'

'I can't help it, Arthur!' Merlin exclaimed. 'I use magic whether I want to or not. If I'm going to die I may as well do it for something worthwhile.'

'My muscles are not worthwhile,' Arthur growled and turned away. 'Incidentally, I have a gift for you too,' he added, his voice oddly strangled.

Merlin watched him pull something from his pocket and turn it over a number of times in his fingers, almost like he was steeling himself for something. He watched silently as Arthur's shoulders finally squared and he turned around abruptly.

'Well, here,' he said and held his hand out. Merlin instinctively reached out and took it, his hand brushing against Arthur's, which was unusually warm. He looked down and his breath caught in his throat. Arthur's signet ring lay innocuously in his hand, the metal warm from Arthur's pocket.

'Arthur,' he breathed, looking up, his eyes wide. 'I can't take this.'

'If you don't want it-' Arthur snapped and reached for it. Merlin instantly snatched it away.

'No!' he burst out. 'It's not that I don't like it, Arthur, it's amazing. But it was your Mother's –'

'I know that,' Arthur spat. 'Give it back. You're obviously not interested in it.'

'No,' Merlin repeated and hid it behind his back. Arthur's face darkened.

'Merlin,' he said warningly.

'No, I won't. You gave it to me. It's mine,' Merlin said, his eyes flashing. Arthur watched balefully as he carefully slipped it on a finger. A strange look came over the prince's face when he saw it on Merlin's hand for the first time. Merlin caught his eye.

'Thank you, Arthur,' he said softly and Arthur nodded stiffly, once.

'Well then,' Arthur said briskly. 'Now that's sorted –'

'Wait –' Merlin interjected and Arthur tensed again. 'Why?'

Arthur glared.

'You ask too many questions,' he replied. Merlin smiled ruefully.

'So I've been told. Please, Arthur?'

'I'd really rather not,' Arthur said awkwardly.

'I'd really rather not clean your socks, but I do,' Merlin returned shortly. Arthur raised an eyebrow.

'I don't think you understand this concept of _servant_, Merlin,' he replied.

'That's not why I do what you tell me,' Merlin told him. 'Don't tell me you didn't know.' He added as Arthur looked up in surprise.

'Know what?' Arthur asked curiously and Merlin flushed again.

'Oh, please don't make me say it. I'm sure you know. Everyone else says you do. Morgana says you're being obtuse and Gwen says you're too busy to notice but everyone else thinks you're just too proud to do anything about it. After all, disciplining your servant because they're in love with you takes a special kind of punishment. Oh bollocks I went and said it. I'm going to go over here and die now.' Merlin babbled, cheeks flaming red as he ran for the door.

Except Arthur was quicker, and blocked his way easily.

'Say that again,' he said, a little breathlessly. Merlin shook his head.

'No, Arthur, I –'

'Please,' Arthur said, and it was so rare to hear Arthur ask for anything that he blinked and spoke before thinking.

'Which bit?'

'The bit where you're in love with me,' the prince replied, and Merlin's eyes widened.

'Arthur, don't be cruel,' he said quietly. 'I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for how I feel, and I'm sorry I told you. I did think you knew, though. Everyone says I'm terribly obvious. Apparently I moon.'

'Merlin,' Arthur said quietly. 'Please stop talking. I'm going to kiss you now, and it's going to be a lot easier if you cooperate.'

Merlin's eyes widened and his mouth opened.

'But – '

'Be _quiet,' _Arthur said, and brought his hand up to the back of Merlin's head and pressed their lips together. Merlin cooperated.

End

Once again, sorry it's been a while and in a new fandom. I'm going to try and write more, but will probably update my LJ more. http:// romanticidiot. livejournal. com/ without spaces, if anyone's interested in following.


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